Not exclusive dating
“I feel like I would stop immediately if I met someone I really liked.” Gretchen, a former multi-dater who is now in a committed, long-term relationship, says: “Having a rotation worked for me, and I had fun.It got kind of difficult with all of the drama, though.”Cassie*, a 30-year-old designer living in Brooklyn, got out of her rotation only after one date asked her to be monogamous with him. “But, he always brought me on amazing experiences, and it’s hard not to fall for someone when each experience is so fun.”For some women, having a rotation with the hopes of ultimately meeting a long-term partner can also be unfulfilling.And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept.While they’re serial dating, they’re losing out on opportunities to date other great people.” agrees.“Dating several men can be a good choice for women, because many women tend to settle for the first man who comes along,” she says.“I could only juggle three people at a time for one-month spans before it got out of hand — someone would freak out or want commitment,” she says.
The 37-year-old who works at an ad agency, has a sweet pit bull, and an enviable vinyl collection — but is so obviously not over his ex-fiancée.
Within a month of attempting to maintain my rotation, though, I disappointed one guy enough to get the, “I need to respect myself and not see you anymore” text. Even though I was into him and disappointed he wanted to cut the cord, I knew I wasn’t ready to be a girlfriend again so soon.
(Despite the old-school belief that men are born to "sow their wild seeds," some men want monogamy, too, duh.)Gretchen, a 30-year old producer living in Los Angeles, says relationships in her rotation also seem to be short-lived.
My many relationships have fallen somewhere between a string of not-so-great first dates and being in love.
I've enjoyed the fun aspects of being with a partner without being tied down to one person emotionally.
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“Seeing how different men relate to you can open your eyes about what you want in a man.” She also says there’s no need to tell the person you’re with about other dates if you don't have an exclusivity agreement — which I agree with.