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What wise people understand is that it is, as my friend says, “fun but probably not long term.” What women in their 40s have over their younger counterparts is that they are perfectly – miraculously – well calibrated to men their own age.

They share maturity, life experience and even pop culture references.

Would you rather crash and burn or have a slow sizzle that bursts into hot flames over time? That’s why people drop billions of dollars a year on a quest for everlasting youth through makeup, beauty treatments, botox, and face lifts. The men I’ve spoken to care less about how much a woman weighs and more about how much a woman loves her body. So, if you’re a larger woman, take good care of your body and flaunt it, sista! I know many really smart people, including my son, who don’t have high degrees, and many people with a Ph. There are fewer dating issues when you can communicate your wants and needs clearly and have confidence and self-respect.

When you have a positive approach to dating, it’s just a matter of time before you find someone special to enhance your already happy life.

That youth can feel intoxicating, literally, as one taps physically, psychologically and emotionally into the typically higher spirits, energy, fitness and desire that often exists with relative youth (and, of course, it is all relative, as a 60 year old is the fountain of youth for an 80 year old looking for a new lease on life).

They can go into the sunset together without a sense that their younger partner is looking for the right exit gate to go on the ride again (to quote the Eagles …

Their answers help me tailor a program that helps them attract their ideal match. But when a man rushes sex, women often feel objectified.

Are they unknowingly putting up guards that turn men off?

— As a dating coach for single women over 40, one of the first questions I ask a client is, “What’s your biggest problem in dating? I recently asked a group of about 300 single, divorced, and widowed women over 40 what their biggest problems were in dating. They want to be appreciated for more than their bodies.

” I want to know what they’ve tried and what their struggles are. I wanted to see how many struggled with the same issues. So guys, please pay attention to more than the boobs and the butt. Those things are far more important than a Harvard or Yale degree, or whether or not he speaks Mandarin.

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