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This would be the most normal set of behaviors when attaching to someone in a love relationship.
Oh, if we could all have the secure attachment style, relationships would be so much easier and smoother to manage.
While dating can be incredibly thrilling, the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what the person you're interested in is thinking or looking for can be overwhelming, and at times, disheartening.
If you're like me and would rather know how someone feels sooner rather than later, look no further.
The more I desired that and expressed how much I wanted to spend more time with him, he felt the intimacy that was building, and his instinct told him to pull away.
Yet, I know that if I give him the attention he wants, he will soon start to pull away again. With anxious attachment, the authors note that “even a slight hint that something may be wrong will activate your attachment system, and once it’s activated, you are unable to calm down until you get a clear indication from your partner that he or she is truly there for you and that the relationship is safe.” So back when I was used to my boyfriend texting me several times a day every day and then one day he didn’t text me at all until p.m., I was on edge and feeling rejected.I’m an independent woman with a career, kids, and friends.I don’t need a lot from a man other than companionship and quality time.I have been separated and divorced for two years now, which has allowed me to have a decent number of dating and relationship experiences.In a few cases I found myself dating someone that either called me needy or described my behavior in a way that I would interpret as needy.
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The book taught me that the “overreaction” I often had to the little things I noticed, was just my attachment system activating due to the tiny signals that my guy was giving me that he was pulling away.