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I would be drunk with power." "I'll tell you fellas how much women have power" "Women can have a bad day and blame it on their hair and we buy it" ".... Because eighty-year-old people don't give a damn what you think. So we go to this club and from the git-go, we were so out of our element.

Look, before this gets awkward, let me just buy your table a round of drinks, we'll call it a night, and it'll be over'.

Meanwhile, Lauren tries to get her parents to let her get a piercing.

Among the many things Bill has to deal with include helping his oldest son do a five-page paper overnight after attending a parent-teacher conference and getting off on the wrong foot with the teacher, his youngest son's missing constrictor snake, and his daughter's fender bender (after she caught him "arguing" with his wife).

That's a pretty good shot in my book." Now That's Awesome (2000) [about an incident in a coffee shop] I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? And I started thinking what would be awesome for Bill Engvall? And it would have to be if I left this stage tonight and went back to my hotel room.

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